Primal scream and shout...

Either summer vacation has started for junior high and high school kids or I have officially entered the Seventh Ring of Hell.

I'm on my lunch break right now sitting inside an Einstein's Bagels trying to eat my Turkey Club Panini with shrieks and howls and high talking going on all sides of me. I'm going insane.

Also, have you ever looked at today's kids? I mean really looked at them? Is it just me or do many of them look exactly alike? I watched Mean Girls and thought it was a cute and funny film in a seriously dark way. But the very concept of "The Plastics" just didn't seem quite real. Sure, I've seen people conform to an Alpha pack member. That's pretty normal.

I'm talking lookswise. All thin, like rail thin. Long straight hair. Drawn out faces. Sunken cheeks. Sharply pointed chinbones. Big saucer-like eyes. It's pretty scary in a Whitley Streiber Communion sort of way. Do they all belong to the same pod or something?

And then there's this boneheaded asshole at the end of the bartable where I'm sitting banging the table with his fist so hard that my laptop is bouncing. He's by himself and is clearly not high-school age (somewhere in his mid-20s, I'd guess). But that's certainly not stopping him from ogling all the little girls as they walk by. I smell a future registered sex offender.

Oh shit. Some "long-lost" friend just walked in the door right in the midst of a pack of 14 year olds. I'm guessing based on the decibel level of their yelping that they all haven't seen her in at least five minutes.

Dear sweet mother of God. Just put me out of my ever-loving misery NOW!

No, check that. Please wait until I finish my sandwich. It's pretty good.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Just a couple quick holiday notes.

For all you fellow bloggers, InWeDay (International Weblogger's Day) has officially been announced for June 14. Head on over to www.inweday.org for details and to sign up!

For everyone (especially you, Diane), Mother's Day is Sunday. Forget it and be damned. Oh I'm not kidding. As my mom likes to say, "I brought you into this world; I can take you out." Sometimes, I actually believe her.

Comments

[Penelope]

As the mother of a 12 yr old girl, who hosted said girl's best friend yesterday, I can say that this is normal behaviour. They dress the same, do their hair the same, and scream every word! I was a jibbering wreck by the time she went home! It's not like I haven't been doing this forever, but it doesn't get any easier (quieter). I feel your pain :o)

[martymankins]

another lyric (this time it's Motely Crue, if I remember right)

The tween age is hard. Once they get closer to 16, it does taper off. But it all depends on the friends, how much styles change and where they all meet each other at night.

[John]

I don't have any kids. I don't want any kids. Because of this post. ; )

[Bdub]

Early release day in district 203 today. Hey why don't you complain a little more? I haven't heard (read) you whine since the last blog you wrote! Are you running out of material?

I know we were both non-conformists in JrHigh, but yes at 11-13 most kids are real thin and dress the same as their BFFs in their little pack. My niece is begining this already at 10.

I really think the non-conformist label is probably inacurate, we were dorks!

[diane]

Thanks for the reminder--luckily I mailed my Mama's gift yesterday. ;)
Which sandwich was it? Based on your answer, I would be able to determine whether you should have left or not...

[Julie]

When did we get old??? I catch myself thinking the same things about today's youth and I have to say it scares the crap out of me when my mind comes to a screeching halt and I realize I sound like my parents - "kids these days..."

[kapgar]

Penelope, the only blessing is that it was only two girls. I had two dozen and a good ten guys who were feeding their screams.

marty, ah, you haven't caught on to "that thing I do," eh? All my titles are lyrics. Since July 2005, all but a handful of posts have been titled with lyrics or song titles. Yep, Motley Crue.

John, keep them locked up and away from pop culture and you should be fine.

Bdub, I think you would be the only person to say I don't whine. I'm pretty sure everyone else thinks I whine too much. ;-)

diane, good girl. And it was a turkey club panini.

Julie, I'm not sure when it happened, but I'm certainly feeling it.

[martymankins]

Thanks for the tip, Kevin.... if you would have given me a few more posts, It probably would have hit me. I will have to go back to previous posts and enjoy some lyrical goodness.

[Bre]

TUC (comment hehehe)

June 14th is the day before my birthday :) You can start preparing now :-p

[Stacey]

When I was a teen I had one friend that would dress like me, get exactly the same haircut, and copy the way I talked. It freaked.me.out. I thought teens were supposed to want to be individuals (you know, just like everyone else).

[metalmom]

I went to pick up Babygirl after her Canada trip and waited and waited in the parking lot. I watched all the kids hugging as though they were going to see each other again in 8 years, not 8 hours. I got really exasperated waiting for my cutie pie to finish talking to that boy over there, when suddenly, she was banging on the window for me to unlock the door!

I had been watching SOME OTHER KID!

Yeah, they all look alot. So much for trying to be a non-conformist role model.

[metalmom]

*that was supposed to say "alot alike"

[Johnny C.]

I feel your pain.

[Memarie Lane]

The ones I see generally weigh about 300 pounds and have beady glazed-over eyes.

I have noticed though that more and more small kids these days are looking like Children of the Corn. Not sure if I should be scared or glad.

[Avitable]

I look at today's kids very closely. And have no problems.

[kapgar]

marty, my problem is that I sometimes pick lyrics to ridiculously obscure songs that no one would ever possibly get. Like my post-Cinco rant. I've never heard the song. I just Googled "Cinco de Mayo Songs" and ran with one. ;-)

Bre, happy two days before your birthday!

Stacey, sounds like Single White Female.

metalmom, I knew what you meant. And that's pretty scary about the mixing up of kids. Thankfully you didn't get out and try to rush her into your car. That could've gone over, oh, not so well.

Johnny, thank you, m'man!

Memarie, ooohhh, Children of the Corn might be far more appropriate than Communion. Nice!

Avitable, leave it to you. ;-)

[Avitable]

Heh.

[kapgar]

Just so long as it doesn't go beyond looking. Don't want to read a post on your site from Britt explaining that you've been arrested and are now barred from all online activities due to your, um, indiscretions. ;-)

[martymankins]

Googling for song lyrics... I actually do that when I hear a song and want to figure out what the name of it is and who sings it. Looks like you've found another lyrical use for Google.

[kapgar]

Gotta love the Google.

[sue]

I have a hard time understanding the young today... ;)

[kapgar]

I always thought of myself as young until recently.