I am fully convinced that Bugs Bunny is a propaganda stunt by some unknown organization established with the express intent of saving bunnies from what would otherwise be a bloody demise.
And, I must admit, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
I was always under the impression that bunnies were a good thing. Cute little "hippity hops," as Katie would call them. A sign that spring was here. They really do nothing other than hop around, eat grass, and fornicate. Can life possibly be any more pure than that?
Lately, though, Katie and I have uncovered the nefarious truth about these little minions of evil. Before we left for Vegas, we planted some hostas on the berm in our backyard. We had been warned by our next door neighbor that hostas are the food of choice for rabbits. She should know, she has a berm loaded with them as well. Her's looked great and she shared her secret... Liquid Fence. This fox-urine smelling spray is supposed to scare the bunnies away.
We went to Home Depot to pick some up. The sales clerk revealed that they didn't have any but they have "an equivalent that's just as good." We bought it and sprayed some just before we left. Then we gave the bottle to our neighbor and asked if she could spray it while we were gone. She agreed.
When we got home, a vast majority of our hostas were eaten alive. Our neighbor said she used our stuff but that she didn't think it was the same stuff as it didn't smell nearly bad enough. It does smell horrifically bad. So we finally found the real stuff this weekend at another hardware store, but not before it was too late. The rabbits had eaten through nearly all that was left of our hostas.
Now it's war.
Bugs, Thumper, et al, there is nothing you can now do to convince us that bunnies are good or pure or innocent. You are rodents with big front teeth. And you must die. If I happen across one of you little bastages, I will spray you directly with this Liquid Fence stuff just so that you will never be welcome in your own home. The second your pack catches a whiff of you, they will run... or hop... or whatever you do when you try to escape from a predator.
Make no bones about it, your bouncy little ass is mine.
Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): If you have not yet seen Pan's Labyrinth, check it out immediately. Fantastic beautiful and well told story of a little girl in pro-Franco Spain in 1944 who escapes the horror of her surroundings (her mother just married a sadistic army commander) by fulfilling her "destiny" as a princess who is to lead a kingdom of fairies back into power. I've never seen a movie quite as rich in visuals as this one. This movie alone is reason enough to own an HDTV.