I fell in a burnin' ring of fire...
You wreck me baby...

Take me out to the crowds...

Guess what I just did? For the first time this entire season, I actually snuck a peek at the team standings in Major League Baseball.

Yeah, sorry, but my lack of enthusiasm for the baseball season persists. Let's put this in terms readily understandable... I've watched more of the World Cup and, prior to that, the Women's College World Series (softball) than baseball.

Scary, eh?

Well, looking at the standings was really strange to me. Lots of things I never would have expected. Here's a division-by-division breakdown:

  • American League East - Meh, no real surprises. Yankees and BoSox at the top as always.
  • American League Central - The Tigers? Really? Hmmm. I never would've seen that one coming. And I swore that, about a month ago, I overheard someone saying that the Royals were doing pretty well. Sure don't look it to me.
  • American League West - When the hell did Los Angeles get an AL team?!?! Oh wait... it's those identity-crisis-stricken Angels, isn't it?
  • National League East - The Mets are in first and the Braves are in last?!?! WTF?
  • National League Central - Cubs doing badly??? The hell you say! Speaking of which, you want a couple good Cubs jokes? Read below.
  • National League West - The NL West is the strongest overall division in baseball? Is Rod Serling delivering a monologue somewhere and I'm missing it?

Yeah, okay, time to go into hermit mode again.

Here are those jokes as relayed to me by a White Sox fan (who knows I'm a Cubs fan)...

Q - Why don't the Cubs have a Web site?
A - Because they can't put three Ws together. (Get it? W="win")

Q - Why did Pete Rose move across the street from Wrigley Field?
A - He wanted to get as far away from baseball as possible.


Here's something completely unrelated. But I feel I must share as it's one of the funniest posts I have read in a while. It comes from Danny, the man behind Dad Gone Mad. I blame Allison for getting me hooked on him.

Before you read what I consider the funny-ass post, you should probably get some backstory on it. Oh, and don't read while you're eating. Just a tip.

Enjoy.


And here are the final bunch of International _____ Day posts for June:

  • Thursday, June 22 - International Food Court Day (mine)
  • Friday, June 23 - International Bugs Potter Day
  • Saturday, June 24 - International Have Sex With A Coworker Day
  • Sunday, June 25 - International Take a Nude Picture Day
  • Monday, June 26 - International Those Wacky Nazis Day
  • Tuesday, June 27 - International Don't Ask Day
  • Wednesday, June 28 - International Be Yourself Day
  • Thursday, June 29 - International Bitchin' Top Ten Lists Day
  • Friday, June 30 - TBA

Comments

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Allison

The DGM post was probably one of the most disturbing things I've ever read... But it was funny s**t, too!

Alissa

Ok, so I've been out of the blogosphere loop for a few days but HELLO!?!?! Your site looks awesome. Well done.

Dustin

The poopoo poem was priceless.

Where are my lovely Mariners in all this baseball maddness?

Dagny

I was just having a conversation this past weekend about the Angels and their identity crisis.

And Friday is "International Bugs Potter Day"? Oh, this could be fun when I go to pick up my mother from the airport.

Finally, the poop? Sounds like dinnertime conversation with my mom. She likes to share just a bit too much. Especially when you are trying to enjoy a meal.

Tracy Lynn

Dude, my Sox are doing very well, thank you, but I find that since we won the Series, I'm not living and dying by the box scores anymore.

But, dude, before that...apoplexy on a daily basis, I kid you not.

sandra

The Tigers rule. That's all I have to say.

jackt

Hahahha Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim! It's all about marketing, man.

Kevin

Allison, disturbing, but utterly hilarious.

Alissa, thanks!

Dustin, sorry, forgot to look. Do they still have Ichiro?

Dagny, I've never heard of Bugs Potter before in my life.

Tracy Lynn, yes they are and I wish them continued luck. I love the BoSox and root for them all the time. Cubs fans have always had a sort of kinship with BoSox fans. Until two seasons ago. Now we're just envious.

Sandra, I'm sure Thomas Magnum is happy as well.

jackt, so they do still have that ridiculous name? It may be all about marketing, but this is pretty poor marketing in my mind. If I worked for the city of Anaheim, I'd be promoting the wearing of nothing but Dodgers swag in retaliation.

Dagny

I hadn't heard of the character either but the description of the day sounds wonderful.

claire

Dig the new title; I think the basic black ties in really nicely.

As for baseball, it feels kind of weird to me this year because I keep happening onto games in progress after 1 AM at east coast ballparks. Maybe they're just airing them taped cuz that seems late for stands full of people in the middle of the week.

MadIrishMan

Baseball...... Hmmmmmmmm! First thing that comes to my mind is roids! ROIDS, ROIDS, ROIDS! Apparently, the names Jason Grimsley gave to the FBI(or whatever) are huge names. HUGE! We will see.

We have a guy chasing the homerun record that used steroids. Please, anyone who read this, don't give me shit that he didn't HE DID! He admitted it to the grand jury! Now, he did say that he didn't know they were roids! Bullshit, He is so anal, I just can't believe him.

Cubs........ Hmmmmmmmm! SUCK! "Busty" Baker needs to go. Hendry needs to go and so does Andy Mc"FAIL"! Ball players come to the Cubs to ruin their careers! Juan Pierre anybody? Lets see...... Cory Patterson is kicking ass in Baltimore. Must say something about the Cubs coaching staff and managers. Ricky Nolasco in Florida, never got a shot in a Cubs uniform. Probably a good thing. I could go on and on. I should probably get my blog up and going! What a lazy ass I am.

I don't know who told you the Royals were doing well. That person needs a caddle prod up the rear end! They have sucked all year. From day one!

I like the International Those Wacky Nazis Day. Why? I just saw a story about a german that built a Hitler museum. This is to glorify Hitler. He thinks he was a good guy. I can't remember the US town. IS THAT A WACKY NAZI?????? HELL YES, from my point of view.

Kevin

Dagny, it does sound interesting.

Claire, thanks on the header. God I hope those are taped. Could've been a weather delay, I suppose.

MIM, gee, never could've guessed you'd have an opinion on sports. ;-) Yes, will you get your blog going already?

claire

At least one of them was a weather delay now that I think about it. I was trying to watch a movie, but the schedule was all screwy so sitcoms were on; they said they'd cut back to the game once the rain let up and that was after midnight. We've been having a lot of rain lately, so that may just be it.

RW

During an inter-league game between the Cubs and the Sox a fan from each team went into the bathroom. When they were both done taking a leak, the Cub fan went to the sink like usual and noticed that the Sox fan didn't wash his hands at all, but just zipped up and left.

When the Cub fan stopped at the hot dog stand and saw the same Sox fan leaving the booth with a newly purchased Vienna beef kosher hot dog on a poppyseed bun with mustard, neon green relish, chopped onions, tomato wedges, a pickle and a dash of celery salt BUT NO KETCHUP, and was disGUSTED.

"You know - on the North side we're taught to wash our hands after we go to the john."

To which the Sox fan said. "Ok. Well, on the south side they teach us not to piss on our hands."

Kevin

Claire, we've been having all kinds of messed-up weather. Can't wait for the tornado sirens to start up.

RW, remind me never to shake hands with Sox fans. They're all still manhandling their tallywhackers with their hands, which, in and of itself, merits a washing. Blech. No. But I may still use the joke. Reversed, of course. ;-)

Bec

World Cup - you, an American? Watching football... sorry... soccer? It's a shame about the USA tem - but pulling a draw against Italy, that's something to feel good about!

Kevin

I'm not one of those Americans who despises football. I actually enjoy it. I just don't entirely understand it. Even though I played for two years as a young child (5 and 6 years old). And Chicago's got one of the MLS's best teams in the Chicago Fire. Our World Cup team sucks, though. I'd only ever root for our women's team. They were a ton of fun to watch several years ago.

Bec

I always find it kind of funny when people say they don't understand football (sorry, soccer). I have no clue... NO CLUE... about baseball or American football (sorry, football) or basketball (although I like to watch them all at 3 in the mornign and pretend to...

Kevin

I think it's simply because I never really studied the rules and I don't take a lot of time to sit down and actually watch the matches. If I did, I might not be in this quandary. As it stands, though...

SJ

Those DGM posts were most excellent!

And HA! I shall do a Bitchin' Top Ten List to post Thursday in honor of International Bitchin' Top Ten Lists Day.

Kevin

I think it's a moral imperative that you do so on Thursday. Make sure to link to your site in the comments for that day on the International Day site. Steal some traffic.

SJ

Hmm. I went to the website and it says Thursday is International Pirates For Picard Day. Someone must've changed their mind ...

And I had a Bitchin' list all done and everything.

Kevin

Yeah, I don't know why it changed. Do me a favor and leave a comment asking why it happened. Say you read on my site that it was supposed to be bitchin lists day or whatever the name was and then argue that you had set up a blog post on your own site to coincide with it but now it's shot.

I've seen a few change at the last second and it's really pissing me off. If we have people on the outside complain, then maybe it will stop.

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