What's your name, little girl?
If you start me up...

Hell, hell no... where do we belong?

This has been an ongoing conversation between a friend of mine who works with me named G (not as in "G Money" or "G Love and Special Sauce") for the last couple of days.

He e-mailed asking if I could make some updates to his department's Web site. Since I am a Web developer, this does fall under my scope of responsibilities.

G: "On [such and such] page, can you make [such and such] change?"

Me: "Where's my money?!?!"

G: "Who needs money when I can offer you your own domain in Hell? www.kevinruleshades.hel."

Me: "Your change will go up on Friday after I take down [such and such] page, is that cool? This is, of course, pending the registration of kevinruleshades.hel. I need hard-copy confirmation before I'll proceed."

G: "Friday sounds good to me. Thank you for all your hard work!!! You now rule over the hellish domain set aside for our current Republican leaders!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "Does that make me one of them or does it just give me the right to make their afterlives a living hell?"

G: "You have power over their souls for an eternity or 8 years, whichever comes first. :)"

Me: "I'd better make sure to take full advantage of those two terms in hell, eh?"

MisckevinsatanSo I am now apparently Satan.

I think this is a pretty cool step up in my professional work experience. Strikes me as a logical career step, anyway.

This sort of thing has got to look great on a resume, am I right?

Seriously, if it was between some random schmoe who has worked steadily for a company or two in his career and could possibly offer up his meager Rolodex of clients and me, the former Overlord of Hell, who would you hire?

I'm a lock!

Hot damn, red is so me!

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

MadIrishMan

You don't look like the Overlord of Hell! You look like the Overlord of La-La land with that goofy smile. If I end up in Hell and you are there. I am going to kick you in your a%* and take over. Burn baby burn!

Jacquie

That's funny. I used to think my boss was the Devil (literally) for various reasons, and ironically, he got a new cell phone and the number started 666. When he called me one day, I told him I was afraid oto answer and he said yes, your fears are confirmed. I AM the devil.

I knew it!!!

Dustin

Overlord of Hell does have a nice ring to it. Not sure if it'll land you that Daycare position though...

Tracy Lynn

I can't WAIT to see your business cards.

Mikey

Do you work for Oprah?

Kevin

MIM, you're just jealous. Hell is my domain. You'd puss out.

Jacquie, I like that story. Very few people would be content at having a phone number that starts with 666. You definitely have an anomaly for a boss.

Dustin, from what I've heard from some in the day care industry, it is hell. Heh.

Tracy Lynn, now THAT'S a great idea! Where's my Illustrator shortcut?

Mikey, you'd think so, wouldn't you? Strikes me as a hiring prerequisite.

Bec

I love it when you scroll down to hit the post comments link and that pic of you is there with the words "What's your name, little girl?" is bright red underneath... :D

ms. sizzle

red really IS your color. ;0

Dave2

Horns are a good look for you.

suze

heehee. you look good in horns.

sandra

I'm frightened.

Kevin

Bec, I hadn't noticed that. And I thought I had a twisted mind.

Sizzle, ain't it though.

Dave, while I like 'em, they're not nearly as cool as Devil Dave. I need an animated me. Gotta work on that one.

Suze, muchas gracias!

Sandra, fear me...

kilax

I don't think you are "devilish" enough. Remember the whole "they ruined the name Kevin" entry? You still need to work on being a bad boy. :-P

Karl

Sweet! Say, what kind of benefit package comes with that title?

Elaine

Those horns suit you nicely.

Nicole

Where's your pitchfork?

Kevin

Kilax, I don't know that "bad" is what I'm striving for. Fearful respect, maybe. And I think luring a few people in with my charming good looks (stop laughing!) would be a good way to make my point. Sucker them in and make life hell. Then everyone else will learn.

Karl, the healthcare and retirement plans are great. Most of those people have been condemned to hell as it is by other customers. So I just bring 'em on down and get them to work for me in exchange for an occasional moment of lower temperature. Putty in my hands. And who's ever going to debate me on taking a vacation day or two or three?

Elaine, thanks. I think.

Nicole, I considered that as well as a snake-tongued tail, but I'm just a floating head in flames at this point. Can't hold a pitchfork nor justify a tail without a base at this point.

claire

love it!

The comments to this entry are closed.