Ninja survive... with you there's no need to hide...

Nope, no freaky dreams last night that I remember.  No more celebrities in my life just yet.

However, at a little after five this morning, I was awoken by a creaking floor board.  Not just the normal "house settling" sorts of sounds you hear at night.  This was actually one that was audible enough to sound exactly like what happens when we hit steps three and five of the lower level of stairs or hit that sweet spot in the hallway that we were desperately trying to fix with screws before the new carpet was laid a while back.

My eyes shot open and I was bolt upright in bed.  And, no, I wasn't being paranoid.  Katie did, too.  She looked at me and whispered, "did you hear something?  Is there someone in the house?"

I said, "I don't know." And then proceeded to do what could only be considered to be sleep-deprivation-induced temporary insanity, I went to investigate.

But not before arming myself.

As I don't own a gun (despite both Katie and I possessing FOID cards -- Firearm Owners Identification) and Katie won't let me keep my katanas handy (they're both in the attic), I reached for the closest thing that would work as a weapon... a coffee mug.

Hindsight being 20/20, a coffee mug may not have been the best choice.  Especially since these were handpainted mugs that were given to us as wedding shower gifts.  But it was the closest thing I could find other than a belt, and I just don't see whipping as the ideal defense method against home intrusion.

So I grabbed my mug... er... deadly weapon and ventured forth.  I told Katie to hit the light on my order.  I decided that I would use the light to my advantage if there was anyone in the hallway.  With the light behind me, I would need little to no pupillary adjustment time.  The intruder, on the other hand, would have the light shining right in their face and give me the upper hand.

Katie missed the whole "on my order" bit and turned the light on before it was to my back, effectively blinding me instead of the perp.  So much for the element of surprise.

When my eyes finished adjusting, I went out in the hallway and looked around a bit.  No signs of life, no broken windows, no open doors.

I went back to bed. 

And woke back up a half hour later to my alarm clock.

I need a better weapon.  Where's my Donnie Baseball Louisville Slugger when I need it?

Comments

[sandra]

That would have been a decent option if the mug contained a boiling hot liquid! (if that helps)

[Rabbit]

A coffee mug? Are you serious? So what would you do if there WAS an intruder? Pretend to sleepwalk past him with coffee mug extended as you mumbled, "Time to make the donuts?"

[Kevin]

Sandra, yeah it would've been nice. Alas, it was empty.

Rabbit, I never said it was the best idea. It was a little after 5 in the A.M. Cut me some slack. What I was going to do would've been completely reactionary. It would all have depended on where the intruder was. Far = I throw to distract so I can charge. Near = bash in the face. Even been hit with ceramics? Not fun. My only other option was a pillow or a clock radio. We just cleaned our bedroom and I didn't have much useful crap laying around. I now have my hanbo stick under my bed.

[jenny]

Well, looking at my bedside, a mug is a better option than what I could come up with: empty water bottle, latest issue of Us Weekly, and box of Kleenex. Not even MacGyver could make a weapon out of that...

[kilax]

I think you have been watching too much tv! You are becoming paranoid! ;) So what do you think it actually was that caused that noise?

[Kevin]

Jenny, well, if that water bottle is filled with alcohol and you could scrounge up a lighter, you could make yourself one heckuva molotov cocktail. Of course, your house may not survive the "defense."

Kilax, typically I would blame paranoia as well. However, Katie revealed to me that she heard it twice and I only woke up on the second one. The only thing we can figure is that it actually was the house settling, but it was affecting boards that were closer to where we were sleeping than the ones in the attic, which are typically the ones that are affected. What we heard literally came from the floorboards in the hallway right outside our bedroom. It was freaky. And, no, we weren't drinking.

[Allison]

Your house is haunted. When we lived in Carlisle, PA, we lived in a house that used to be occupied by an older gentleman. He did not die in the house, but died in the hospital while living in that house. We would be sitting in the living room and we would see the basement door open and hear footsteps going down the hall. Never felt anything threatening, but did feel a chill. At night, sometimes you'd hear footsteps going down the hall towards the master bedroom and you could see a shadow in our dresser mirror, but when you got up to look there was no one there. Again, never a feeling of being threatened, but a definite chill in the air when it happened.

I bet it happens again soon.

[Kevin]

You know what? I don't think I'm going to relay this comment to Katie. That's just what I want in my life... a paranoiac phasmophobe.

So, out of curiosity, why would our spirit have waited a year to reveal him/herself?

Meh, it's not likely. I do believe we are only the second family to live here and no one in the last family died. They may not have taken care of the place as well as we would have liked prompting us to want to kill them; but no deaths otherwise.

[SJ]

I absolutely agree with Allison. It could be a restless spirit that predates your house. I used to work with a woman whose modern townhouse was occupied by the nasty spirit of a very early Native American who was determined to scare them away. Perhaps something you've done recently has annoyed your houseghost.

Have you recently acquired any old furniture? Spirits can sometimes attach to a piece of furniture and travel wherever it goes. I have personally known cases of this happening with a bed, a dresser and a Tiffany lamp.

[Kevin]

Yay, now I've got two people thinking our place is haunted.

We've done work on the house in the form of painting and recarpeting. Other than that, we're storing more schmutz in the attic now than we did before. As for old furniture... we have an old dresser that's in our office but that's been in my family for decades without incident. And I have my grandma's old bedroom dresser set. But I've had those for nearly two decades with nothing happening. And then there's my dad's old bookshelf that he's had since he was a kid. It will be moved from where it now is to be used elsewhere since that bookshelf I'm building will go there.

Okay, don't get me wrong, I believe highly in ghosts and hauntings. But, typically, there is a logical reason for them. I know spirits rely on faith, but there is still a logic base to it all. Death, old Indian burial site, past tragic event, etc. I know nothing about anything like this having happened in our immediate area.

However, there is a train track in the backyard...