Shock me...

I was reading Jenny's blog this morning when I came across something that caught me a bit unaware.

Nay, I was shocked and dismayed.

She and a bunch of her other blog buddies were discussing what they have dubbed "The Cult of Comments."  This refers to how bloggers thrive on the immediacy of comment feedback from their readers.

So they are attempting a "comment orgy" which I can only describe as a bit of a social blogging experiment.  Here are the rules as per Jenny's site:

  1. Blogger is tagged to write an entry for comment orgy.
  2. Blogger writes an entry.
  3. Blogger strives to get as many comments as possible on said entry.
  4. Blogger passes the orgy baton (Eww.) to another blogger of his/her choosing.
  5. If blogger fails to get 100 comments, the orgy dies.
  6. If the orgy dies, shame will fall on that blogger’s house. Forever.

Their challenge, now, is to find topics to post about that will ensure they reach this 100 comment plateau.  One of her friends suggested typing about "boobies" as everyone loves good stories about breasts.

This is where I become appalled and dismayed with Jenny.  I've always held her up on a higher level than many others.  She has a high-quality blog, yet she has resorted to an artsy way of blogging about boobies to gain comments.

For shame!  How could you sink so low, Jenny?

BOOBIES

I would expect such juvenile behavior from others, but not you, Jenny!

MISSIONARY POSITION

And all this just to validate your existence in the Blogosphere.  Comments?  That's all you want?  Just talk to us, Jen.  We'll come running and make you feel good about who you are without having to post such filth.

69

The truly sad thing is that she's not the only one who does this.  I've read more than my fair share of blogs and other websites that feed off the world's fascination with sex. And they make me sick.

CUNNILINGUS

Even if their site has nothing to do with the actual act of sex whatsoever.  They will do underhanded things like putting keywords in the meta tags that ensure people will find their sites when performing searches in Google, Yahoo, etc.

SADOMASOCHISM

I would like to take this opportunity to publicly declare that you will never see Kapgar.com resort to such deplorable methods to gain readership and comments.

BLOWJOB

I have an ethical and moral standard that I have set for myself and my site.  I have beliefs that I subscribe to and I can only hope that I impart these values to you, my dear readers, through quality posts that are humorous, insightful, and family friendly.

SPANKING

Never, ever will you find instances of sexual innuendo or lewd photographs on this site.  Let me repeat that... NEVER!

Miscfamilyguybdsm

Kapgar.com... a proud safehaven and paragon of virtue for all ages, since 1998!

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Comments

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Scott

Prepare for your ego to be stroked.......that was hilarious. I was a touch confused at first but by the time i got to 69 i knew where you were going. very very funny and very clever mr. adams, very clever. (Did you see what i did just there, i called you my last name instead of yours, ha, that's funny for me!)

sandra

Ahh, Kevin...how to live up to your moral standards. I just don't know if I'm equipped...

Kevin

Scott, I knew that if no one else dug this post, you would. Good to know you enjoyed it. And that last bit with you talking about me as Mr. Adams was very Stewie-ish. Was that intentional or is it just how I'm reading it?

Sandra, I set a high bar. I know. But, without a high bar being set, how will you ever know how high you can truly reach? So stretch those arms, Sandra! I know you can get here! I believe in you!

Scott

That was Stewie, he turned something into a homosexual joke on Brian and he said that "Do you see what I did just there? I made it seem as if you were a homosexual! Ha! That's funny for me!"

Dave2

You had me at "boobies".

Johnny C.

you forgot one dude...

fellatio

I mean, it's one of my favorites.


SJ

Now, that's real nice. I ask you for suggestions on increasing readership, and you tell me to post comments on popular blogs. Three days later, you pull this out of your ... hat. You sneaky bastard.

And don't think quoting another Def Leppard song is going to redeem you.

But in the spirit of friendship, I'm going to contribute two more hit-boosters: lesbian sex and sucking toes. Let me know if this "strategy" works.

Kevin

Scott, I knew it! There was something decidedly Stewesque about how you were typing that one. I good!

Dave, I had me at "boobies."

Johnny, D'oh! I should have used more formal names for everything. Much higher-brow, porn-influenced audience. Damn.

SJ, I know. I'm a hypocrite. What Def Leppard song? "Shock Me" is by KISS. Oh, and thanks for the additions. They do offer some insight into your thought patterns. ;-)

SJ

Shock me! Make it electric
Shock me! Make it last
Shock me! Gimme thunder 'n' lightning
Shock me! Ooh babe I need it fast

(from the deeply introspective "Action! Not Words" on Pyromania)

That's what I thought you were quoting. Or maybe Eve 6's "Arch Drive Goodbye." OR given your subject matter, Swollen Members' "Don't Know Why."

I'm gonna try this. Only I'm gonna disguise it so my preacher brother-in-law won't say I'm going to Hell. Oh wait, he does anyway.

Kevin

Oh, was not aware of those songs.

Here's what I've got for the KISS song...

"Shock me, make me feel better
Shock me, put on your black leather
Shock me, we can come together"

Take that how you will. But that middle line of the chorus seems to fit in well with my post. Heck, with a little creative interpretation (very little), so do the first and the last lines of the chorus.

We're all going to hell. But we'll be in great company, won't we?

jenny

Geez, Kev. I invite you to my party, you drink all my whisky, eat all the cheese puffs, and this is the thanks I get?

And to think that I was going to buy you Season 1 of Family Guy on DVD for xmas. Guess I'll just have to keep that all for myself...

Kevin

No cartoon BDSM for me this year?!?!?! NOOOOO!!!!!!

The cheese puffs were good. You have immaculate taste in crunchy faux cheese.

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