I know it's a couple days after the fact, but better late than never to report to you all on my New Year's Resolution. Mostly because I'm going to need your help with it.
I resolved, as per a request from Katie, to curb my swearing. Yes, I do tend to swear here and there. Alright, I'm a flippin' truck driver. And I told her I would try to tone down my language a bit. We have friends who all have kids who, much like the tyke from Meet the Fockers, have brains like sponges. God only knows what wonderfully flowery language they might pick up from Uncle Kapgar.
It ends here and now. Well, actually it ended two days ago at 12:01 a.m. And, when I violate the resolution, a quarter goes in our swear jar. I've already put a buck in so far.
But, and here's where I need your help, I'm extending this resolution to include my blog and comments I leave on other blogs as well.
I'm placing a button in the menubar on my homepage that reads "Report a New Year's Resolution Violation" that will link back to this post. Feel free to report legitimate violations of my New Year's Resolution here or elsewhere that date after January 1, 2007, in the comments to this post. If possible, please link to the specific violation as proof. No forging comments that are "from me" as I will know.
Here are the specifics...
- H-E-double-hockeysticks -- no no
- Dam that is not of the beaver (animal) or Hoover variety -- nuh uh
- The four-letter, fecal-related word beginning with "s" -- nope
- The A, B or F words -- not allowed
- I can't even use beyo$%^
I can, however, use ones that come from, say, Johnny Dangerously (fargin', icehole, somonabatch, etc.). Those are allowed as per Katie. I can also use "heck," "darn," "dang," "shiznit," "Shiitake Mushrooms" (thank you, Spy Kids), and any number of other less-fun words and variants in the English language.
Speaking of "English language," I may have to get a ruling on Spanish cursing. I do have a degree in that language, after all.
So hold me to it, will ya? This will only work if people call me on it.
Good thing the NFL season's almost done. That's a big source of my rampant swearing.
