Let's face it, people search for the weirdest things online. And, if you have even a decent stat tracker, you can uncover what weird words and phrases were used that, somehow or another, happened to result in them finding your site.
Several of my fellow bloggers have posted about this in the past. This is my first time and this post is several days in the making as I've been compiling a list of some of the best searches that found kapgar.
The reason it took me so long is, apparently, because my readers and lurkers aren't quite at the level of depravity of those who read, say, Karl's site (I just hadda, man). He gets some twisted search keywords that find his site.
Here are some of the keyword and phrase searches that have brought people here lately...
- Catherine Bach's Shoe Size - Apparently a Dukes of Hazzard foot fetishist?
- sxy_wife - A spam mailer that I covered, indirectly, in my Dennis Haskins spam post a while back.
- Boxers vs. Briefs research - It was the use of "research" that killed me. Has someone actually spent money on scientifically researching which is better? Maybe I should be that expert.
- Kevin Apgar - While I'm encouraged that this search did, in fact, find me, I'm scared about who was looking.
- fire fire fire Beavis - Are they looking for a picture of him in flames? Why the descriptor? And why in triplicate? Well, here's all I've got.
- Afrospanicindioasianization downloads - Sorry, dude. Only a reference to the episode of The Daily Show here. No vids.
- Elaine Butters Grey's Anatomy - Huh?
- Robert DeNiro Suspected Terrorists Video for MySpace - I don't understand this one at all. But I will note that I get a boatload of searches by people looking for custom themes for MySpace pages. Another future business endeavor?
- See me naked - No, really. You don't want that. Trust me on this one.
- "kyan" site: http://kapgar.typepad.com - So someone was looking for info about the Queer Eye guy specifically on my site? Is that what I'm to take from this search? While not Kyan, I did write about Ted. Hell, there were four searches in a row that ranged from the above-listed search phrase to "lewd Kyan." Is someone looking for Kyan porn? Hey bonehead... I HAVE NO SUCH CONTENT HERE, SO STOP LOOKING!
- Celebrity Booty Flickr - um yeah.
- "Conservative controversy" "Matt Lauer" - There's no controversy... Ann Coulter is Satan. Even conservatives will admit that. And Matt Lauer schooled her and showed the world that she is incapable of spontaneous thought.
- jennifer love hewitt hairstyle bangs - It is horrendous, isn't it?
- Meredith Vieira Crying - Did the Today show rescind their offer?!?! Please say yes!
- catherine bell belly button photos - No, you would need Dave's site for quality pictures of Catherine Bell.
- bought the wrong size concert shirt - So sorry.
- Cubs jokes - Actually, I got a couple searches looking for this. Since they suck, I'm happy to oblige.
- dildo lightsaber fight video - Again, more than happy to oblige.
There are some twisted people living in this world, aren't there?
